Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Happiest Birthday to My Sweet Baby Girl

The moment I found out I was going to become a mother was probably one of the most terrifying moments of my life. At the age of 21 and an unmarried preacher's daughter I was very scared. Praise the Lord Cameron and I had a great relationship and he loved us both. We as individuals had so much growing up to do before becoming a mother and a father. I remember the evenings soaking in the tub crying out of fear not being able to give her the life she deserved. My favorite thing I was told was by my mother in law. She said yall calm down, she isn't going to come out of the womb demanding Old Gringos. The lyrics of Christina Perri's song  "A Thousand Years" kept me going strong. 

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

I would have never made it if it weren't for the support of Cameron. I know he was just as scared as I was, but he kept strong for me. He was amazing attending each appointment he could with me holding my hand. His face was priceless when the sonogram tech said get your guns ready Dad it's a girl!

As family members were coming around to the idea of a little girl joining the family, I began to enjoy my pregnancy. I worked six days a week 10 hour shifts doing hair at ULTA. I remember being so excited to collect my tip money each night and rush to Target to buy baby clothes. The months went by and we were getting so close to the big day!

Two years ago at this very time Cameron and I were walking the sky bridge of Denton Presbyterian.  The fear that over took me was so great. Thankfully once I got my meds I was out for the night. 

On October 23rd at 6:43 am I met the most beautiful human being I have ever laid eyes on. It was instant indescribable love. I also fell in love with Cameron all over again in a totally different way as we became a family in that delivery room. Pecos was showered with love within the first hour of life as grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, and friends passed her around. We all knew right from the start she was something special! 

Our journey began as a family. Pecos and I spent a lot of time alone as Cameron was working so very hard to support us. At the time I was living in an efficiency apartment very close to the campus of University of North Texas. It wasn't the ideal place to bring your bundle of joy home as the college parties were loud and the football games could be heard through the windows. But this was our home. I have so many precious memories of that place. We survived our first night out of the hospital, heard her first giggle, had her first night of teething all nighters, and first Halloween Thanksgiving, and Christmas. 

Pecos taught me a love I never knew the human heart was capable of. She became my very  best friend, as I slowly lost touch with the world outside of those apartment walls. Friends dropped slowly like flies, and it just turned into Pecos and me. There were days that I longed for conversation and just plain sunshine. Even though at times I felt hopeless, I'm truly thankful that I was the one feeding each feeding, changing each diaper, and catching each gummy grin. Gosh, what I wouldn't give to go back for one day! With each day she gets bigger and prettier! 

I'm so thankful for all the times of facing bad weather, scary situations, crying nights, and the giggles. When daddy would be out of town we would have some great snugly sleepovers. 

I'm so glad a year ago we moved back to Archer City and that daddy is home each and every night. I know it was just as hard on him as it was on me when he was gone. Cameron is a wonderful husband and father. Pecos adores her father in the most precious way. She is so a daddy's girl, and that makes my heart so happy.


Tonight as I tucked my baby in for the last time as a one year old there were some tears shed. She is becoming such an independent little girl. She is so busy all day everyday. Pecos is always playing and running wide open. She has such a free spirit, and captures the heart of each person she meets. She is incredibly smart. She knows her colors, her animals, and much more. Each nap time and night she puts herself to sleep looking at the book we read before prayers. She has a heart the size of Texas. She has loved Taos from day one. She is constantly kissing and hugging on "her Taos!" 

I want to wish my first baby love, the one who made me Momma, sweet forever my baby girl a very happy second birthday! It's been a complete joy and honor to watch you grown thus far. Oh the years ahead of us fighting over your wardrobe choices and boys, I will forever cherish these moments you need Momma for each thing. I'll cherish each diaper change, bath time, story time, tying of shoes, and meal cooked for a lifetime. I'm so proud of the beautiful caring girl you are growing to be. Momma loves you to the moon and back times a million. 

1 comment:

  1. This is so beautiful it literally brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for sharing your family's precious story. Your beautiful baby girl is awfully lucky to have such a loving mother.